


the chronicles of jj's ice skating career

by doubletan



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Compliant, During Canon, F/M, Fanart, Fanzine, Funny, M/M, Mid-Canon, Parody, Yuri on Ice - Freeform, basically jj trying to interact with the skaters, but failing miserably ofc, supposedly funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 12:43:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11081826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubletan/pseuds/doubletan
Summary: jj tries hard (very very hard actually) to be friends with the rest of the ice skaters, but of course he fails (miserably at that)





	the chronicles of jj's ice skating career

**Author's Note:**

> do note that this is a parody, and its just for the humour. jj always makes me laugh whenever he talks in the anime and makes yoi so so much better for me. i love him.

JJ had known the Korean skater ever since he first started skating competitively, and sadly, even after so many years as competitors, JJ had only recently realized that he and Seung Gil's relationship had always been... _slightly_ distanced.

Well, he wasn't the least bit surprised. Anyone would feel daunted if they had to face the talented JJ in almost every competition. But since JJ prided himself on being excellent at socializing, the best even, he had decided to take the first step towards friendship.

Yet, he can't help but admit he did feel slightly bitter after seeing Seung Gil do the quadruple toe loop, successfully even, in the Rostelecom Cup. Seung Gil is amazing at ice skating, no doubt, better than most besides JJ himself. But _still_...it was a jump he had wanted to save for the Grand Prix finals to gain maximum attention. And so, seeing Seung Gil snatch away _his_ limelight for being the first one to do it...

Nonetheless, JJ reminded himself that he's a magnanimous person and a matured adult by now, so such _small_ issues would definitely not get in the way in his strive to begin a lifelong friendship...right?

Spotting the skater who was about to enter his hotel room after the competition had ended, JJ strode forward confidently towards him. What a coincidence that his room was directly opposite JJ's, it must have been fate that wanted him to make as many friends as possible, especially with his amazing social skills!

"Hey Seung Gil!" He shouted out loud, voice echoing down the empty hallway. Seung Gil stiffened, eyebrows furrowed at JJ in confusion, most probably wondering why he had abruptly started a conversation with him when they have always given each other the cold shoulder for years...and why he had to scream when JJ was just behind him. But obviously, JJ didn't notice any of those signs. "Yes..?"

JJ beamed. So Seung Gil wanted to be friends too! "I saw your performance. What a great quadruple loop huh?" JJ blurted out before he could stop himself.

Seung Gil turned around to face JJ fully, glaring at him. "Are you trying to make fun of me? That even with that jump I couldn't win anything?"

This was the first time JJ got a clear look at Seung Gil. He noted that those thick eyebrows and intense stare did make his face look quite scary. What a shame, he could be really attractive if he wasn't so angsty all the time, JJ thought.

"Why would I be making fun of you? I already have a medal," JJ lifted the gold medal gleaming proudly against his chest, "because JJ is the best!" Promptly, JJ threw his head back and laughed.

When he looked back towards Seung Gil, his eyes were narrowed, hands clenched tightly in fists at his sides. JJ gulped, this was not going as he planned. He was suppose to laugh at his _joke _and become good friends by now! Maybe even go out for dinner to chitchat about old times! So where in the world did JJ go wrong? Plus, JJ didn't even remember saying anything to insult him either.__

__"Don't underestimate me, I'll beat you next time. Don't you ever forget it." was the last thing Seung Gil said in a huff, before swiftly opening his room door...to slam it shut in JJ's face._ _

__JJ blinked, stunned by the reaction. And of course, since JJ was never one to give up: He knocked on the door bluntly, "Wanna go out for dinner together?"_ _

__"...Fine."_ _

__Maybe there were some exceptions to JJ after all._ _

__

__

__

__JJ came across the Thai skater who was bawling his eyes out in the desolated hallway after the Grand Prix Finals had ended. He recalled that Phichit had gotten last place, so it must have been disappointing for him. Of course, since JJ was a caring and considerate individual, he had taken it upon himself to comfort Phichit._ _

__"Hey!" JJ sat down beside him. "How are you doing?" Phichit raised his head. A horrifying tear-streaked face with eyeliner running down his cheeks greeted him. JJ flinched back. Well, he had gotten his answer. But he was not going to give up, because JJ could do anything!_ _

__He patted Phichit's back as soothingly as he could. The best way to comfort someone was to relate to their pain, reasoned JJ. "I know how you feel." He lifted his medal. "Can you believe I got a _bronze_?" He shook his head and sighed._ _

__Phichit blinked at him owlishly. JJ noted his tears have stopped. Success. As JJ was about to leave after a job well done, Phichit started to cry once again. "Yuuri should've won gold so he could get married to Victor!" He sobbed._ _

__JJ was now utterly confused. "What about your own placing...?" He asked. "Oh that?" He cocked his head to the side, mulling. "Well I'm sad over that too, but I'm more upset over a fated couple unable to get married." He sniffed._ _

__"Ahhh...." JJ lit up, ears zeroing only on a certain specific phrase. "I'm glad you're rooting for me too! Of course Isabella and I are fated. Do you know how we met?" He was met with silence. But utterly unaffected that Phichit had not provided an answer, JJ carried on, "Its the best 'how we met' story ever. She's one of my JJ Girls, and obviously very beautiful, but that's also applied to all my fans..."_ _

__JJ didn't notice the way Phichit had started to shift awkwardly away from him, and instead, pressed closer into his personal space. "So during one of my first competitions three years ago, when I got first place as usual, some of the fans from the other competitors were unhappy since I was fairly new and started to y'know," JJ staged-whispered, eyes darting around dramatically as if someone could overhear him in the empty hallway. " _get violent._ And then, Isabella took charge of the JJ girls and..."_ _

__"Uh..." Phichit eyed the exit sign. He flicked a thumb behind him, "Maybe I should-"_ _

__"You thought she was going to use violence or something back at them but she didn't! She stood bravely in front of the huge angry crowd and reminded them how it would reflect badly on thei-"_ _

__Footsteps echoed down the hallway. "Ah Phichit-kun! I couldn't find you earlier!" Phichit rushed towards him, a smile breaking on his face. JJ noticed that Phichit could run really fast. "Ah Yuuri! _Thank god_ you're here!" JJ was confused why he sounded relieved, or was it just his imagination?_ _

__Starting to walk towards them, JJ bet Phichit wanted to hear the end of his amazing story! However, seeing JJ advance forward, Phichit's eyes widened in alarm. He stumbled out that they had to leave first, and dragged a baffled Yuuri away._ _

__Noticing nothing, all JJ felt was a sense of accomplishment for cheering Phichit up. See, he looked so happy now! He could totally take up counseling when his ice skating career ended. Nothing like helping out someone in need._ _

__However, JJ's sense of accomplishment died away instantly as soon as he laid eyes on Otabek striding towards him. He gulped. Otabek's scarily determined face during his short program was unfortunately, still very vivid in his mind._ _

__He clenched his fists tightly. JJ definitely will not let anyone step over him, but to overcome all adversities as usual. He planned to stroll confidently in Otabek's direction, and have a nice little chat with him like they always used to. Easy peasy._ _

__What JJ did not expect however, as the distance decreased between them, was his own increasing fear. Maybe he should just turn around and leav-_ _

__JJ stumbled to a stop right in front of Otabek, who had started to frown deeply at him. Breaking out into a cold sweat, JJ bet Otabek could hear his pounding heart as his hands floundered aimlessly about, trying his best to start a conversation._ _

__Was Otabek angry at him for beating him and taking a bronze even though he messed up? Oh god, he realized the hallway was dark and isolated, especially without the previous presence of Phichit and Yuuri. Was Otabek g-going...going to _beat him up?_ He took a peek at Otabek's arms. He screamed inwardly, they were very very muscular. _ _

__Millions of thoughts swirled in his mind, specifically negative ones regarding his own well-being. He tried to calm himself down but to no avail. Was Otabek waiting for the right time to hit him? Seconds past and he hasn't said a word yet. Maybe Otabek wanted to _punch his teeth out_ when he starts to talk?!_ _

__Otabek's frown deepened and he lifted a han-JJ cowered back, screeched and ran for his life. And all Otabek could do was watch his retreating figure in puzzlement before he could even wave a hand in greeting...while JJ considered taking the nearest flight anywhere far far away from damned Barcelona and Kazakhstan._ _

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is for the yoi ensemble zine, which is a pay what you want charity zine where all proceeds go to the [russian lgbt network](https://lgbtnet.org/en/)! there's many quality work and art too!!
> 
> imagine yoi irl, if victor had to hide his sexuality and is unable to marry yuuri in russia, does your heart hurt?? if yes, do take the opportunity to help the lgbt foundation out!! download it [here](https://ensembleyoizine.itch.io/ensemble-yoi-zine)
> 
> it was hard to keep to 1.5 k words LOL if u read my another zine works im alw complaining abt the word count bc i can nv stick to it.
> 
> and i did a collab with the amazing sydney! follow her twitter [@melbournagain](https://twitter.com/melbournagain)
> 
> here's her splendid work for the fic!!
> 
>  


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